A King, A Queen, A Jack, Two Jokers, and an Ace
by Noodledonny
Summary: The only thing Naoko Gouto and Hanasu Hajimete seem to have in common is that they're in the same class. But with the help of an awkward brother and troublesome twins, they both end up linked to a certain Host Club. KyoOC HikaOCKao Collab Mitsuki Umisako
1. Chapter 1

A King, a Queen, a Jack, Two Jokers, and the Ace of Hearts

Chapter One

Kakeru Hajimete glanced at his sister nervously. She hadn't spoken to him since this morning when he'd shown her what her new uniform was (and more or less forced her into it). All she'd done was glare out the window of the limo ever since she'd gotten in. He stared at her for a bit before cautiously attempting a conversation.

"Hana…chan…?"

"It's Hanasu," she replied icily, not bothering to look at him.

Oh no. She was upset. She never insisted that he call her by her full name if she wasn't upset. "I'm sorry about the whole uniform thing… it's not like I have any choice on what the school uniform looks like… forgive me?" he asked innocently, unintentionally doing puppy eyes. She turned to him with a glare, and he was struck by the strong desire to push her short, black hair out of her face, as always. It'd happened ever since she'd cut it. The same thing with her new yellow eyes; it always made him uncomfortable, seeing his little sister with such unusual eyes. What happened to the brown-eyed, glasses-wearing Hana-chan?

Her gaze softened slightly, and she almost smiled. "Fine, you're forgiven, you big goof."

Kakeru grinned. "Yay!" He leaned forward, his brown eyes wide and excited. "What do you think Ouran will be like, Hana-chan?"

Hanasu shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do you think we'll make any new friends?"

"Maybe." She paused for a second, and then smiled gently over at him. "I know you'll make lots of friends, oniisan. People like you. They always have."

Kakeru frowned. "But what about you, Hana-chan?"

Hanasu blinked. "Me?" She looked away. "I don't care. It doesn't matter to me whether I have friends or not."

"Hana-chan..." Kakeru said worriedly, and Hana glanced up at him, impassive as ever.

"Don't let it bother you. This is just who I am," she said, in reply to his worried look. She turned back to the window and sighed softly.

"Hana-chan... Will you at least try to make some friends?" he pleaded with her.

There was a long, uncomfortable pause as Hanasu mulled over her brothers words, and she then said, "I'll think about it..." in the quietest voice you could imagine. Kakeru's entire face lit up like a child at Christmastime. Hanasu heaved yet another sigh. Well, he didn't need to know that she had only agreed to get him to shut up about it.

"Miss Hanasu, Master Kakeru," one of their escorts opened the door. Hanasu had insisted that he didn't call her "Mistress" and Kakeru had requested that he call them by first name. "We've arrived…"

"Thank you," Kakeru said, smiling brightly. Hanasu mumbled a quick thanks. The escort smiled. He'd spent much of his adult life working for the Hajimete family, and he'd seen these two grow up. He knew how they worked. True, the young miss had become more reclusive as of late, and the escort wasn't exactly sure why, but he felt that he knew the Hajimete children well enough. Their mother was strict, and their father rarely home, so it was no wonder they'd grown up relying on each other. Hanasu had actually been very popular in middle and elementary schools, and Kakeru's clumsy, awkward, easy-to-please personality had always attracted the crowds, especially the girls, but, at the heart of everything, they trusted each other more than anything.

"Miss Hanasu, you'll be in Class 1-A. Master Kakeru, you'll be in Class 2-A." Two boys approached from behind the escort. One was taller than the other, with black hair, glasses, and brown eyes. He wore the boy's uniform, and had a rather smart, calm, reserved air about him. Hanasu guessed straight-A+ student, heir to a large, powerful company, something like that.

Hanasu decided that she didn't like him. Kakeru had a feeling that this guy was rather deserving of awe.

The other boy was smaller; girlish, even. Brown hair, large brown eyes, a friendly, helpful, smart feeling from him. A nice guy, Hanasu deduced, but hiding something.

Hanasu decided that this guy was okay. Kakeru had a feeling that this guy was also rather deserving of awe.

"Miss Hanasu, this is Fujioka-kun, and Master Kakeru, this is Ootori-kun. They'll be leading you to your respective classes." Hanasu let out an unmasked sigh of relief for not having to go with Ootori. She didn't like Ootori. There was just something… shifty about him. Something under that smile that made her uneasy.

Kakeru wasn't having those issues. He gazed at Ootori with respect and admiration, despite having known the boy for all of two seconds.

The escort walked back to the limo, then paused. "Oh, and one more thing." He turned back towards the Hajimete siblings and smiled. "Have fun."

Hanasu rolled her eyes, but Kakeru nodded furiously. "We will, Escort-san! We will!" he assured the escort, waving wildly as if "Escort-san" was miles away, instead of three yards.

Hanasu sighed, and followed the Fujioka boy to her classroom. Her hell.

"Oh, there you are. Thank you very much, Mr. Fujioka," smiled the teacher, a younger woman with a mess of curly hair framing her round face. Hanasu looked at her. She looked nice enough. She supposed this teacher wouldn't give her too much trouble, and vise versa. "Miss Hajimete, would you please introduce yourself?" The teacher said kindly, and Hanasu resisted the urge to say, 'You just did.'.

"Sure. My name's Hanasu Hajimete. Don't give me trouble, and I won't give you trouble, ne?" Hanasu said a little distantly. The stares she was getting were suffocating, obvious, and annoying all at the same time.

"Thank you, Miss Hajimete. You can take a seat behind Mr. Fujioka, if you like?"

"Sure." Hanasu shrugged, and took her seat. She looked up to see that the teacher seemed to be looking around rather perplexedly, as if waiting for something, or perhaps someone.

"Ah. We were supposed to have another new student, but… It appears he's lost his way?" She said uneasily to the class, when suddenly, the sound of the intricate doors being opened cut her off.

'Another girly boy?' Hanasu thought, raising an eyebrow.

In the doorway stood a short, girlish boy, who was huffing slightly. He had probably run all the way here, Hanasu deduced. He had shaggy, golden brown hair that almost entirely covered his right eye, and his wide eyes were an odd shade of gold.

"I'm very sorry to be so late," The boy said quietly, bowing to the teacher. "I'm afraid there was a detour."

"Not at all, Mr. Gouto. Please, won't you introduce yourself?"

"Ah, yes. My name is Naoko Gouto. I hope we can all get along well…" The boy mumbled quietly to the eager-looking girls in the class, chancing a half-smile and looking a bit embarrassed and disheveled as the girls squealed things like, 'aww, he's so cute!' and 'looks like Haruhi-kun!' loudly.

'What a racket…' Hanasu thought, irritated. These girls were like frikkin' sirens…

"Well then, Mr. Gouto. Please sit in front of Mr. Hitachiin. Please, uh… One of you… Raise your hands…"

At this Hanasu looked in front of her, where there sat two identical boys on either end of Fujioka. She then saw Naoko silently walk over to his seat and take out his books.

'Another smart one.' Hanasu decided, and turned her attention towards the window for the rest of the period.

Meanwhile, Naoko himself was getting rather irritated. More than once, the boy had turned around, razor-fast, to stare annoyedly at the two identical Hitachiins that continued to throw paper and poke him with pencils.

"Was there something that you needed?" Naoko whispered through clenched teeth, fed up. His mood only darkened as the twins brought their lips up in smirks.

"Not at all. Stop distracting us." They chorused smugly. Naoko turned around again, but another piece of paper hit him in the back of the head.

'Ignore it, ignore it…' Naoko chided himself.

Poke, poke.

"Could you two stop tha—" Naoko began, but was interrupted by the teacher. "Mr. Gouto, eyes at the front, please." The woman said, and Naoko did just that, shying under the slight glare. He had to put up with another forty minutes of paper-throwing, pencil-poking, and snickering coming solely from those stupid twins.

Mercifully, the bell rang, and just as Naoko was about to get up and leave, he was stopped by a gentle voice.

"Gouto-san?" Naoko turned around to see the doe-eyed boy that sat between the twins during that hellish class.

"Yes?" Naoko said politely, blinking. He really hoped this boy wasn't about to pick on him for no reason, too.

"I'm sorry about the twins. They can be really annoying, right?" The boy said with a refreshing, girly smile that shouldn't have been used when talking about someone being annoying. But who was Naoko to judge? A few remaining girls squealed in the background, but both boys paid no mind to it.

"Quite." Naoko nodded with a sigh. "I pity you for having to sit in the middle of them."

The other boy heaved a sigh, then smiled. "Yeah, but they can be nice when they get to know someone. By the way, my name is Haruhi Fujioka. Nice to meet you."

"Naoko Gouto, and likewise." Naoko smiled. More squeals.

"Well, I've got to go now. I'll see you later." Haruhi said, waving goodbye and exiting the classroom. Naoko gathered his books slowly, then left himself, beginning to jog. He didn't want to be late for yet another class.

Meanwhile, in Class 2-A, a very annoyed Kyouya Ootori took his seat behind a very cheerful Tamaki Suoh, who immediately interrogated him on the new student. "So, Kyouya?" Tamaki whispered, grinning. "What's this new kid like? Is it a boy or girl? Are they attractive? If it's a boy, are they host club material? Are they friendly? Do they like commoner's coffee? Are they—"

"_He_," Kyouya interrupted, too irritated to keep up the calm and cool façade, "is a complete idiot whose foolishness surpasses your own. The entire way here he did nothing but babble on and on about the school and how he'd seen nothing like it and how he hoped his little sister would make some new friends. He was even worse than _you_ when _you_ first came here." Tamaki was struck with insult arrows ("idiot", "foolish"), but recovered in time to see the new kid introduce himself.

"I'm, um, Kakeru Hajimete! I just transferred here, so please treat me kindly! I hope to have a good year with all of you!" He bowed very deeply, flustered, but pulling it off in an attractive way, as apparent from the love struck expressions of the girls in the room.

"Alright, Mr. Hajimete, you can take a seat next to… how about next to Mr. Suoh?" the teacher suggested, smiling. Kakeru jumped, as if she'd just awoken him from some sort of dream.

"A-ah, okay," he said with an awkward smile, blushing slightly, and the girls just melted right there and then. He looked around for "Mr. Suoh", and Tamaki gave his charming smile (causing further meltage of all females in the room and lowered self-esteem at having all of these pretty boys in their class among the males) and raised his hand.

"Over here, Hajimete-kun." Kyouya twitched. There it was, Tamaki trying to make a good impression on a starry-eyed potential new recruit. While Kakeru didn't seem to react to the sparkly rose background that had suddenly materialized behind Tamaki, he was not unaffected by the Host King's obvious charisma. He nodded, somewhat embarrassed but eager (it was going to take the janitor forever to mop those girls off the floor), and took his seat next to Suoh. Kyouya sighed. No backing out now.

"So, Hajimete-kun," Tamaki began (quietly, as they were still in class and didn't want to be heard), then paused. "-Actually, may I use your first name?" Kakeru nodded. Tamaki probably had gotten him to do roughly anything by this point. He smiled confidently, as if he was in an ad for the benefits of being a host ("join the Ouran Host Club and you'll have confidence, looks, and pretty hair like me!"). "Kakeru-kun, I was thinking," he began. _No stopping him now,_ Kyouya shrugged, and tuned out of the conversation, nodding whenever it seemed appropriate. From what he bothered to hear, Tamaki was simply inviting the new boy to check out the third music room after school for a "surprise." Kakeru agreed without any hesitation. At this point, Kyouya guessed, Tamaki was practically the poor kid's idol. Hm. He'd have to do a background check on him when he got the chance.

A few periods later, a throng of students crowded the lunch room, chattering away happily and eating lunches that were far too sophisticated to be given the title "cafeteria food". Naoko was used to this, of course. He was rich, too, but the fact that none of these kids even said a simple "thanks for the meal" perplexed him. Shouldn't they act just a little more grateful, or were they completely ignorant of the growing issue of world hunger?

At that point, Naoko's thought process trailed off, because he realized that he'd been overthinking things yet again. And really, was it any of his business whether the other kids said "thanks" or not?

"Thanks for the food." He muttered under his breath. He sighed and brought the fork up to his mouth, savouring the rich tastes that, although he was so used to, he never tired of, when suddenly, a cluster of girls surrounded the doorway, and he heard them exclaim,

"HARUHI-KUN! YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH?"

"Ah, yes, but it's alright. I had breakfast, so I'll be fine."

Naoko stared disbelievingly at the sparkles that came flying out of the heap of girls as they squealed and shrieked once more. He sighed.

'They're so loud...' he thought with a sweatdrop. He really couldn't be bothered enough to endure the noise, so he got up to leave. Unfortunately for him, this meant having to sneak around the gaggle of blushing girls, because they were blocking the only exit.

"Haruhi! I heard you forgot your lunch! Let me buy you something! Let me buy you something!" The voice of an idiot cried out, and, if it was even possible, more females flocked to the doorway, accidentally knocking Naoko to the ground with a soft thud.

"Oh, Naoko-san? Are you alright?" Haruhi asked, offering his hand to Naoko.

Suddenly, everyone in the crowd wheeled around super fast to stare at him. Naoko took Haruhi's hand gingerly and was swiftly pulled to his feet.

And now he was sparkling, too. What was wrong with this place? Cartoon hearts, sparkles... Was he going insane or something?

"Haruhi, who is this? A new student?" Sounded the voice of an idiot again, and Naoko looked up to see a tall, good-looking blonde guy pouting with a finger to his mouth, obviously not thrilled that this strange boy was acting so familiar with Haruhi.

"Yes, hello. My name is Naoko Gouto." Naoko smiled in what he hoped was a polite and sincere way. "Nice to meet... you? ACK!" He cried as the blonde leaned over and was right in his face.

"Well then, Naoko Gouto..." He said, and then pointed dramatically toward him. "You are officially recruited into the host club!"

More sparkles. More Squeals. More cartoon hearts.

"Um..." Naoko said uncomfortably, backing away and into the doorway. "No thanks," he finished, and left in a hurry.

"Wait a second, wait a second!" The boy yelled in shcok, and was suddenly in front of him, still sparkling. "You haven't even heard me out! Please, just come to the third music room after school, and you'll definitely want to join the host club! I guarantee it! My name is Tamaki Suoh, and I am the king of the host club!"

Oh great, and now there were roses.

"The king?"

"The king!" he replied cheerfully.

"... That sounds stupid. I'm not going."

Tamaki turned completely white before wandering off to a dark-lit corner and sulking in what Naoko could only classify as the fetal position. He looked at Haruhi—what was one supposed to do in a situation like this?—but Haruhi only sighed. "Senpai, don't be stupid," the boy scolded. "If Gouto-san doesn't want to join, he doesn't have to."

"Haaa-ruuuu-hiiiiiii…." Tamaki whined.

Naoko cast a grateful glance in Haruhi's direction. At least _someone_ here had common sense. Haruhi met the new boy's eyes and smiled. The lunchroom erupted into sparkles and the squeals of fangirls.

Naoko sighed. Moment ruined. "Does this whole… sparkly thing happen often?" he asked.

Haruhi chuckled awkwardly. "Increasingly."

"Oh, look, there's Suoh-san!" Both boys turned to see a tall, black-haired boy come running over to the fallen host king, followed by a younger girl with short black hair. He turned to the girl. "See, see, Hana-chan? That's Suoh-san!"

Tamaki, hearing someone call his name, leapt up, fully recovered. "Ah, Kakeru-kun!"

The girl, Hanasu, simply stared dully at Tamaki, clearly not anywhere near as impressed with him as Kakeru evidently was.

"Oh, and who is this?" Tamaki said, his voice lowering with a princely smile as he took Hanasu's hand in his. "It is a pleasure to meet you, princess. Won't you tell me your name?"

If her contempt for him wasn't evident in her spiteful glare, than the fact that she whipped her hand out of his grasp, recoiling with anger should have made it clear. This, once more, caused the over exuberant blonde to retreat to a darkened corner.

Naoko looked over to the new arrivals pleasantly. Once again, he was glad someone with common sense had shown up. The boy next to her, however…

"Oh! Suoh-san, are you alright? Don't take it personally, um, that's just how Hana-chan is!" The boy said worriedly, hurrying over to Tamaki to reassure him.

"She rejected me, she rejected me…" Tamaki sulked, pouting like a child who was told he was on time-out, and poked at his newly-cultivated mushrooms.

"And now mushrooms are randomly growing… Greeat…" Naoko mumbled to himself sarcastically, and began to walk away. "Oh, and Fujioka?"

"Yeah?" Haruhi asked.

"I pity you." He deadpanned, and left without a word, only sparing a glance back at Tamaki because she had heard a stabbing sound. Sure enough, an insult arrow had pierced him right after he had spoken. "And now there are arrows. I'm out of here." And then he left.

Haruhi sighed. "Senpai, get out of the corner. You're creating a scene."

"Don't wanna…" Tamaki said with a bigger pout than before.

"Uhm, uh…" Kakeru said uncertainly, and then smiled awkwardly. "So, I'm really looking forward to, um, after school?"

Tamaki unexpectedly rose and laid one of his hands on Kakeru's shoulder. When he lifted his face, everyone saw his eyes were sparkling excitedly, and he had a silly smile on his face. "Good, very good!" He gave the thumbs up with his free hand. "That was a good expression, Kakeru-kun! You'll do well at the host club! Fantastic, even!"

"Ehm, er… Thank you?" Kakeru said, smiling confusedly.

"I've had enough of this." Hanasu suddenly said with a sigh, and turned on her heel to leave.

"Ah! Wait, Hana-chan!" Said Kakeru quickly, trying to stop her, but she was already out the door. "Hana…chan…" He frowned worriedly, and was suddenly surrounded by girls.

"Oh, it's okay, Kakeru-kun!"

"I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it!"

"She's your sister, right? All siblings fight sometimes!"

"It'll be okay!"

"Yeah, you just have to believe in yourself!"

Kakeru sniffled, and smiled. "Yeah!"

The janitor was really going to hate him for leaving such a mess of melted girls on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry I didn't introduce myself last chapter, but this is Noodles. The other author of this story is Mitsuki Umisako, or Mitchan, as I call her. Naoko belongs to her. Hana-chan and Kakeru belong to me. Everyone else belongs to Bisco Hatori. Please enjoy our silly lil story~!

A King, a Queen, a Jack, Two Jokers, and the Ace of Hearts

Chapter 2

It was all the twins' fault.

Naoko'd been packing up his things after school, they came (they said it was to get something they'd forgotten, but Naoko suspected that they might've just been there to torture him), they'd pestered him a bit, and then…

Well, the result was one tripped Naoko and one broken teacup. From the teacher's desk. With the tea now all over the floor and on Naoko's uniform. Thankfully, it had cooled quite a bit, so that it didn't hurt, but…

Oh crap.

And, of course, the teacher chose that moment to walk in.

"A-ah…" was all Naoko could manage. The twins sighed, but Naoko knew that they were smirking on the inside.

"Mr. Gouto…" the teacher began. Then she just sighed. "Well, I'm not good with speeches. Let's just go to, after your constant interruptions in class today," (_Also the twins' fault, _Naoko didn't say) "and now this… I really ought to give you some sort of punishment."

'Ought to'. Not 'going to'. Naoko was hopeful.

"Sensei," the twins chimed in together. Oh no.

Hikaru began. "We've been watching dear Naoko for a while now. And we've noticed… he doesn't have any friends. It's sad, really. We think that Naoko's troublesome behavior may be caused by loneliness and a desire for attention." Oh, here came the sparkles. Naoko looked at sensei, and was horrified to see that she was believing every word of their crap (probably more for the sparkles and sudden soft lighting, but still)! _Are there no sane people in this freaking school?_ Naoko panicked.

Kaoru continued his brother's bullcrap. "So, we think that, rather than any punishment you could administer, which would only increase his desire for attention, Naoko should join a club, which would give him the chance to make friends and therefore reduce the trouble he causes." They looked at each other and smirked. Back in unison.

"And we've got just the club in mind."

"Hana-chan! Hana-chan!" Kakeru caught his sister after school. She turned, impassive as ever.

"What is it, niisan?" she asked, making it sound more like a bored sigh than anything else.

Kakeru hesitated. Hanasu wondered briefly if he was doing it on purpose, knowing how she hated waiting, but scolded herself for even considering such a thought. Of course he wasn't. Kakeru didn't possess any ability to be mean to anyone, even people he didn't like. "Um… Hana-chan…" he said softly. "W-would you… come to the Host Club with me?"

Hanasu blinked. "Why?"

"I-I'm just a bit nervous, that's all." He paused, for a moment. "Also, I don't know what a host club is."

Hanasu sighed. _Then why agree to go? _she thought angrily, but calmed herself down. "Fine… I'll go with you," she mumbled.

Kakeru's eyes lit up. "YAY!" he yelled, and tackle-hugged her. "You're the best, Hana-chan!" he sang. "You hear me? The absolute BEST! I can't think of anyone better in the whole wide world! I love you, you know that? I love you soooooo much~!" People were staring at them. Girls were wondering who the heck had gotten so much of Kakeru's love. Hanasu blushed, awkwardly untangling herself from her older brother's arms.

"Yeah, yeah, save it for the host club," she muttered. Glaring briefly at the girls, she added (so they'd know), "Oniisan."

Naoko couldn't believe that he'd been blackmailed into this. Upon the twins practically dragging him to the third music room and opening the doors, a flurry of red rose petals came flying at him and practically blinded him for life, and when he was able to wipe his eyes free from them, she saw that a sparkly-eyed Tamaki was standing in front of him with an eager smile.

"So you decided to come after all, eh? No doubt my speech touched your heart and you were just being shy, right?" He rambled, striking poses on every other word he spoke while Naoko resisted the urge to facepalm. Instead, he opted for the nice, expressionless scowl. "Hey, what happened to your uniform? We simply cannot have you talking to guests like that!"

Before Naoko could even growl out the dreaded word "twins", the exuberant blonde had snapped his fingers and fished a clean, sparkling uniform out of thin air. Which, Naoko noted with extreme displeasure, was beginning to seem perfectly normal to him because of the odd day that had been filled with such things. Before the twins could grab him and yank him behind the curtained change room that had seemingly materialized for such an instance, Naoko grabbed the uniform and hurried off to the change room.

Meanwhile, Hanasu and Kakeru walked into the room, though Kakeru rather seemed to bounce and skip into the room, his optimistic smile clear on his face.

"Hello, Suoh-san!~" Kakeru said with a smile.

"Hajimete-kun! Good, good, you're here." Tamaki smiled back charmingly.

Sensing that the two were about to engage in a completely meaningless and irritating (at least to her) conversation, Hanasu interjected, "Suoh-senpai, was it? May I inquire exactly what this supposed 'host club' does and why you've asked my brother to join it?"

Oh no, he was getting that sparkly-eyed look again. As if to keep Tamaki from going on a tangent, Kyoya quickly intervened, as well. "The host club entertains ladies with spare time on their hands. Or, at least, that's the basic gist of it." He smiled, but Hanasu sensed that there was no genuine emotion in it, because the second she saw it, she felt a cold breeze.

"Oh, and we have cake and snacks, especially cake! It's really fun!" A younger-looking boy with blonde hair and wide brown eyes said, and Hanasu stared down at him in disbelief. Were they seriously letting an elementary schooler into a host club?

About to make that point, Hanasu was suddenly interrupted by Naoko's voice from behind the curtain. "That sounds stupid and pointless. Those ladies with spare time should be spending it bettering their education or getting themselves prepared to become their company's heirs, not goofing off and sipping tea."

The curtain drew open with a "swoosh"ing sound, and Naoko emerged in a clean uniform, light brown hair slightly mussed. Sparkles surrounded him and the change room in the background suddenly disappeared, replaced with a backdrop of beautiful red roses. "What the-?"

"Hmm, good, good..." Tamaki said, staring down at the smaller boy. "Let's give you a test, shall we? Let's see how many customers you get, and how you get them."

"Sure." Naoko shrugged, inwardly hoping that if he was distant enough to the ladies that no one would request him and they would cut him loose.

…Unfortunately, that didn't happen, because Naoko didn't have it in him to ignore the girls, and instead politely chatted with them, just like they wanted him to.

"Naoko-kun… May I call you that? What are your hobbies?" asked one, smiling shyly.

"Ah, well… I like to… Um…" Naoko stammered, unsure of whether or not he should tell them his hobby. It seemed sort of weird to say, and his parents had told him that he shouldn't do something so ridiculous, but Naoko was running out of topic changes, and this sudden question couldn't very well be ignored by commenting on the weather. 'Why not?' Naoko thought with an inward sigh. 'It's not like I've got anything to lose…' "I… Like to read fortunes using tarot cards… And um…"

The entire room became incredibly silent.

"T-Tarot c-c-c-cards? Gouto-kun!" Tamaki yelled, launching himself over to Naoko's table and began to shake the boy violently. "You can't mean those dark, scary-looking cards with 'death' and 'the devil' and 'the hanged man' on them, could you? Please tell me no! Please tell me you're not like Nekozawa-senpai!"

_Who's Nekozawa-senpai…?_ Naoko thought as he pushed Tamaki off him. "Suoh-senpai, tarot cards aren't used for black magic, if that's what you're talking about. You use the cards to tell fortunes. You know, wealth, family matters, your future, yourself, love…" Insert female population's squeal here.

"EEE! Naoko-kun!" One squealed.

"Please read my love fortune!"

"Yes, me too!"

"No, me first!"

"No, me!"

"I want a love fortune, Naoko-kun!"

"Please tell me about my future love life!"

"Well, um…" Naoko said, frozen. "I—I don't have my tarot cards with me today, so…" There was an overall disappointed aura to the room now.

"If you ladies wish to have your fortunes told by Mr. Gouto, requesting him from now on would be a good idea." Kyoya suggested ever-so-subtly from his table with a fake smile. "Anyone who requests him from now on will be allowed to have their fortunes told for a small fee."

"Then I'll request him!"

"Me too!"

"Really? Naoko-kun, I can't wait!"

Hanasu stared dully at the black-haired, glasses wearing boy in distaste. "Shadow king…" she muttered, shaking her head. She looked around the room, leaning against a wall. The elementary-schooler was being sickeningly cute and eating cake, with some tall, silent guy lurking around him. _Kinda creepy…_ she thought. _…But not exactly bad. I mean, it doesn't look like he wants to kill the little guy or anything… I guess it might be a cute, protective relationship if one got used to it._ Content with her analysis, she continued to scan the room. The twins were just talking to the guests, when all of the sudden, they were completely into each other, one twin grabbing the other's face and gazing into his eyes, and the other twin looked misty-eyed. What was even worse was that the girls at the table _absolutely loved it_. They squealed loudly, and Hanasu put her hands over her ears to block out the sound. _Freaking sirens…_ she thought, wincing. _What's wrong with them? A romantic relationship between two identical, male twins? That's just wrong on so many levels._ Disgusted, she turned away. Tamaki was probably the most "normal" hosting-wise; just cheesy pick-up lines and sideways glances. _Nothing special,_ she thought.

Over at his table, Tamaki suddenly felt that someone had insulted him. It was not a pleasant feeling.

Hanasu's eyes drifted over to Kakeru, who was busy with his own customers. _Oh dear God why...?_ Hanasu thought, squinting from seeing all the blinding sparkles coming from her older brother's table. All the girls were quietly squealing at Kakeru, who was blushing and smiling in slight discomfort.

"Really? So what did you do after that?" giggled one girl.

"I, er... Sorta fell off..." he laughed, embarrassed.

More roses. More sparkles. Higher squeals.

Hanasu instinctively plugged her ears. She really didn't like this club. The girls were annoying, there were questionably illegal relationships, and the guys were spraying pheromones and roses all over the place like they were going out of style. She looked over to the other new host, oh, what was his name, he was in her class... Naoko! Yeah, him. The girls there, as usual, were squealing, but he didn't seem to be doing anything extraordinary. In fact, he was barely talking at all. He seemed, if it was even possible to do this, listening to the girls and deciphering what they were actually saying through the squealing fits.

"So, your family went to Rio on vacation last year? That sounds nice. I haven't been there yet, so how was it?" he asked with a kind smile towards the girl, who looked halfway to melting by then.

"Oh, it was... wonderful... But not as wonderful as you...~" the girl said dreamily, as if she were the guy and Naoko was the girl, or something. Weird.

Naoko looked surprised. "Eh? I don't really... Know what you mean... But thank you." He smiled again.

Hanasu covered her ears, wincing. Then, as she opened one eye, she saw the incestual twins making their way over to his table, looking smug or something. Hanasu didn't really get it, but listened in, purely out of curiosity.

"Hey, Naoko-kun!" the twins said cheerily. Naoko did his best to hide his irritation (and he was pretty good at it, Hanasu had to admit), probably in some attempt to keep his cool in front of the ladies. _Not to impress them,_ Hanasu observed. _He doesn't like this club enough to worry about something like that. It's probably the way he was raised, or something._

"Hello," he replied, though the word came out forced. _I wonder what those twins did to the poor guy. He obviously hates them._

"Can we speak to you for a bit?"

Naoko smiled at the headache-inducing girls. "Ladies, could you excuse me for a moment?" He looked slightly bashful as he said it, as if worried that the girls would be upset with him.

They promptly melted.

_Dang, he's good._ Hanasu made note of this as the boy got up to speak to the little devils. She was about to hear what they were saying, when a certain idiot blonde slid in front of her. "Excuse me, Miss Hajimete," he said matter-of-factly. "But what are you doing?"

"Standing, stupid," she replied bluntly. Tamaki twitched from the insult, but quickly regained his composure.

"Miss Hajimete," he smiled, attempting to charm her. It didn't work. "Here at the Host Club, we pride ourselves on having an array of handsome young men to suit any young woman's preference."

"You have nine, one of which is my brother, one of which is in grade school—"

"Honey-senpai is a third-year."

"—Fine, one of which is a midget, an expressionless guy, then you've got the homosexual twins, which I wouldn't really care about if they weren't gay for _each other_, two really feminine-looking boys, the shadow king, and _you_." An insult arrow struck Tamaki on the last word. "So," Hanasu continued, not really caring what happened to the so-called king. "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to keep to my thoughts in peace."

Tamaki swiftly withdrew in a gloomy fashion, back to his own guests, who were quick at attempts to cheer him up. Suffice to say, it didn't take much. Hanasu stared after the idiot for a moment before returning to where the twins and Naoko were, and she almost felt like going for a round two of insulting Tamaki. The conversation had already ended, and Naoko was walking back over to his table, his polite smile to the ladies successfully hiding his irritation with whatever the twins had said to him.

_Great, that stupid blond made me miss whatever they were talking about... I'll probably never figure it out now..._ Hanasu thought with some irritation, trying to make up for the lost conversation by studying the boy closely for any hint of the nature of the twins' conversation with him. Unfortunately, that came to naught, and Hanasu was left wondering.

Naoko, meanwhile, was annoyed. Those stupid twins, the nerve of some people! It was evident that they had no manners whatsoever! Even as he carried on his conversation with the giggly, smiling ladies, he continued to inwardly fume. He'd never met any people so rude in his entire life. Shouldn't their parents have taught them some manners? Of course Naoko realized the answer to that question. He'd no doubt in his mind that those two troublesome twins had never had a scolding in there entire life. Yes, he was imagining it now, those two as children being spoiled rotten by overly-indulgent adults. He let out a small tsk not unnoticed by his confused guests.

"Naoko-kun?" Said one of his guests uncertainly, gazing over at him with worried eyes. "Is something bothering you?"

"Ah, it's nothing. Please," He flashed one of his reassuring, kind smiles. "Don't worry about me. I'm sorry. My thoughts escaped me for a moment there. I was about to ask you, Miss Yorozuki, about your vacation in Tahiti last summer you'd mentioned."

Off the girl went on her hurried, giggly story after no further prodding whatsoever by the patient brunette. Hanasu stared over with dull eyes. She'd clearly been itching to tell him the story whether or not he'd asked. She sighed. How predictable. All the girls at this school seemed rather tangled up in themselves... She hoped rampant egomania and shrieky, high-pitched voices weren't the kind of thing you caught like a disease here. Everyone seemed to be ailing from it.

Ootori tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to him with a glare. "What?"

He smiled. "I just need a moment of your time, Miss Hajimete."

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

Naoko turned to see one of the girls yelling at one of the hosts. Ootori, if he recalled correctly. He couldn't hear what Ootori said, but it was obvious from their body language that they were arguing. Finally, the girl (who Naoko remembered seeing in class earlier) stomped off in a huff towards Naoko's table. Naoko checked the schedule. Oh, it _was_ time for him to switch clients… The girl sat down across the table from him and glared up at him. Naoko recoiled slightly.

"Look," she began, an evil aura growing around her by the minute. "I'm not here because I want to be. I'm here because that stupid vice president isn't as easy to make go away as the stupid president and said that he'd kick me out if I didn't request someone because apparently me standing in a corner observing people is 'bad for business'. Seeing as I want to keep an eye on my older brother, leaving doesn't exactly work for me, so I requested you, since you seem the sanest and like someone I'd hate the least. So go ahead and talk, but if you touch me I will break your arm."

"Um…" Naoko wasn't sure how to respond. "Look, I'm not going to touch you or anything… so… um, what's your name?"

She paused, as if unsure how to answer. "…Hanasu. Hanasu Hajimete."

He smiled. "Cool. I'm Naoko Gouto. It's nice to meet you." Sparkles materialized once again. Hanasu blinked. Maybe this kid was kind of cute…

"You look like a girl," she commented bluntly. Sparkles and kind of cuteness weren't going to prevent her opinion, obviously.

Naoko chuckled. "Oh really? I get that sometimes, but I think you're the first to say it quite like that."

"Hm," Hanasu mumbled. So this guy wasn't the kind to be ruffled by comments like that. Either he was the definition of politeness or he didn't really value his manhood. Or… "So, are you taking this so well because of my family's social status, or are you just that nice?"

Naoko blinked. "Huh? No, I was just being polite…"

Hanasu sighed. "Sorry, sorry, that was kind of rude of me. Just a knee-jerk reaction to my insults being returned with compliments. You know, after my mom attempting to introduce me to 'nice guys' and all." She waved the comment off. "You probably get it. I'm sure your mom or dad or whatever tries to get you with a bunch of girls anyway, right?"

Naoko looked kind of… uncomfortable? How strange. Usually he kept his calm in front of clients. "…yeah," he mumbled. He then blinked and quickly remembered himself. "Ah! Um, Miss Hajimete," he said, attempting to be cheerful. "You mentioned you had a brother working here, which one is he?"

Hanasu pointed to a boy with black hair, chuckling sheepishly while the ladies giggled and remarked on how cute his clumsiness was. "Him. The idiot over there."

Naoko sweatdropped. "I see… so, then, you don't like your brother?"

"No, I like him." Hanasu shook her head and smiled. "I like him an awful lot. He may be clumsy and awkward and useless, but… he's got a good heart, and he can't be mean to anyone. He always thinks of other people…" She trailed off, noticing that Naoko was staring at her. "What?" All the sudden she was back to the evil aura and glaring.

Naoko blinked and put his hands up as a defense. "Ah, nothing, I was just thinking, this is the first time I'd seen you smile…" The words came out before he'd really thought of what he was saying.

Hanasu stared at him for a second, then looked away. "I see." She glanced at the clock. "Ah, the club's going to end soon… I'll leave you to your fans, then." She got up and turned to leave, then paused. "…I'll request you tomorrow, so leave a spot open for me, k?" she mumbled, so quiet that Naoko might've imagined it. Then she left, and was quickly replaced by the giggling, talkative girls, and there was no time left to think about her.

"Ah, business was good today, don't you think, mommy?" Tamaki commented cheerfully, glancing over at Kyouya, who was scribbling a few things down in his black book.

"Well, Mr. Gouto does seem to have attracted quite a few new customers, as has Mr. Hajimete…" Kyouya replied, ignoring the 'mommy' comment. While Naoko was uncaring, Kakeru was practically bursting with joy.

"Really, really?" he asked excitedly.

"Really."

Kakeru literally jumped with joy.

"Just a moment, oniisan," Hanasu said, pulling him back down to earth. "Mother's gonna be mad if we take too long."

"Ah, you're right…" he said thoughtfully. "One second, let me go get my things!" He ran over to where he'd left his things.

"Mr. Gouto," Kyouya said, not looking up.

"Yes?" Naoko asked, picking up his bag.

"Out of curiosity, is there a certain reason that the only daughter of the Gouto family is dressed as a boy?"


	3. Chapter 3

Again, this is a collaboration manga between Mitsuki Umisako and I, even though she wrote most of this chapter because Noodles is lazy or something. Obviously Noodles should stop slacking off and start pulling her weight in this collab, huh? Anyway, please enjoy the story!

-Noodles

A King, a Queen, a Jack, Two Jokers, and the Ace of Hearts

Chapter 3

The room was deathly silent, every eye on the room fixated on the boy in question. Naoko seemed to be glassy-eyed for a few moments, staring at the glasses-wearing host with a mixture of astonishment and apprehension. He regained his composure a few moments later, sighing and brushing the comment off as casually as possible.

"I didn't think that the son of the prestigious Ootori group would be this fanciful and absurd. Are those the sorts of stories you write down in that notebook of yours?"

Kyoya Ootori smiled a mirthless, icy smile, looking up from the keys on his  
laptop to the short boy casually gathering his things together in preparation of leaving, and, deciding not to comment on the latter part of his argument, said quite plainly, "I am no more fanciful than you, Naoko Gouto, and as I sincerely hope you know, my family's reach is far and wide. These are not absurd theories, but rather the simple truth of the matter, which is that you are, in fact, a female. I did not ask if you were one, but rather, why you are pretending to be a man."

The feminine boy hesitated for a long stretch of minutes, his fingers curling around his schoolbag so tightly his knuckles turned white. When he spoke, it was in a slightly shaken, whispery voice, quite incongruous to his ever-impassive expression, "You claim it to be the truth of the matter, but all I've heard is an absurd theory. Without proof, I'm afraid your "simple truth" is mere imagination."

Kyoya remained emotionless. So that was how he was going to play, was it? Fine by him. He had more than enough artillery to win this battle of wits. "I never said I didn't have any proof, Naoko Gouto, you merely assumed."

He paused to allow his eyes to take in the other hosts. Hajimete looking on with mouth popped slightly open, confused and surprised, Tamaki blinking rapidly, most likely trying to process the information faster than he could handle, the fool, Mori as expressionless as ever, with Hunny beside him to compensate for his lack of emotion with an expression of bewilderment, Haruhi with her composure slightly off-kilter, the twins with exaggerated expressions of awe, and the girl, Hanasu Hajimete, looking on with a scrutinizing, almost knowing stare.

"Your proof, then." Said Naoko coldly. "I'd like to hear it."

Kyoya smiled humourlessly again, cool and composed, and started his explanation, "Naoko Gouto, were you aware of what hospital you were born in?"

"…No, I was not told. I did not inquire." Said Naoko stiffly.

"You were born in Ootori Hospital, and I suppose the reason your parents never told you is because they didn't want you to realter the already falsified birth certificate. As the daughter heir to a large electronics firm, I'm fairly certain that you've been educated on how to deal with computers. They must have feared that, if the mood struck you, you would change your gender back to female, the correct one, and all their hard work would be in vain."

Naoko grit his teeth. How did this man know so damn much…?

He continued shortly thereafter, "Ootori Hospital, however, has been steadily  
aware of the fact that your information was changed only days after your birth. When we traced the alterations, the trail led us to your mother, who, although knowledgeable enough in computers for normal circumstances, had nowhere near the grasp your father has of leaving no trail behind. Now what I'd like to know is, why? Why did your mother decide to do such a thing? Why are you going along with it?"

There was a pregnant pause, one in which the air itself seemed to be bogged down by the tension filling the room. Suddenly, there was the sound of light laughter, a small, mirthless laugh coming from none other than Naoko Gouto. It was short-lived, however, and as the laughter faded to nothing, Naoko fixed a steely gaze on Ootori as if attempting to see right through him. "What do you want to hear, huh? Some sappy story about a family's regrets, childhood aspirations unfulfilled, or even a heart-racing drama about a terminal illness? I could do any one, just pick."

"I am much more interested in the truth." Kyoya replied coolly.

"Ah, the truth. It's fickle, choosy, doesn't like to appear when called upon, but in such situations when you wish it not to appear, it arrives right on time. Unfortunately, this is not such an instance of the latter. Now if you'll excuse me, Ootori, I must be getting home."

Tamaki was the first to speak out. "Hey! You haven't told us one thing! You can't leave right after you've been exposed! Answer the question!"

Naoko, halfway out the door, chuckled, turned his—no, her—head slightly to stare at him and smiled mockingly. "Suoh-senpai, have you never learned the lesson, it is rude to shout at a lady and keep her out late when her parents worry?"

The Hajimete siblings barely spoke during the car ride home. Once again, it was up to Kakeru to break the silence.

"So… um… what did you think about Gouto-kun's… um…" he searched for the right word. "…secret…?"

"If she's going to dress and act as a boy to please her mother, then that's her choice. It's no concern of mine." Hanasu continued to stare out the window as she said that.

"Hana-chan…" Kakeru hesitated for a moment, then continued, "…it's… it's not always a bad thing to do what your parents say, you know…"

"I know," she sighed, "I'm just biased, I guess. I mean, I'm sure Naoko's mother had some reason or other for changing her daughter's records, and I'm sure that Naoko has her reasons for hiding her gender. It's just… you know. You get it."

"I'm pretty sure I do." Kakeru said quietly. His sister looked over at him and smiled, for once her hair not covering one of her eyes.

Kakeru completely destroyed the seriousness of the moment by hugging her and squealing loudly that she was the cutest thing in the entire world.

"I'm home." Said Naoko softly as the front door shut behind him-no, her- with a resounding click that seemed to echo through the entire mansion. Lifting her one visible, golden eye from her bookbag, he met the indignant eyes of her mother. 

SLAP! 

Ah... tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry." Said Naoko, reflexively, touching her cheek. As she drew her fingers back, she chanced a look down at them. Tiny dots of red. She looked to her mother's outstretched hand. Ah, she was wearing her ring today. She must have changed her mind again.

"Just where have you been, Naoko?" Her mother asked sharply, inhaling and drawing back her hand. Though her tone was cold, her eyes were oh so warm, shining and brimming with guilt and worry.

Naoko did not comment on that.

Appearances were everything in the Gouto family.

"I... got held up at school. I'm sorry." She repeated, as she saw her mother's face return to the cool, professional expression that was usually plastered on her pale face. "I... was requested to join an extracurricular activity. They were quite firm on it."

A little white lie. It was necessary.

"Who?" Her mother asked stiffly, lips pursed into a tight line.

Naoko understood exactly what she wanted to know. She supplied instantaneously, "Ootori, Suoh, Morinozuka, Haninozuka and... Hitachiin." She grimaced slightly at the last name. Those stupid, devilish twins...

"Very well then. This club of theirs... it would be advantageous for the company if you kept up good relations with such prominent families. You must keep with your after-school studies and your duties as heir, however." She gave Naoko a stern look, brown eyes sharp. "I will not allow all of my hard work to be demolished by your incompetence."

"I understand." Naoko managed to force out, swallowing her pride to stoop low into a respectful bow.

"Good. Now go see your father. He's been asking for you."

"Yes, mother." Naoko said quietly, obediently, and left towards her father's room. Smiling reassuringly to a concerned maid, she leaned against the doorway and softly announced her presence.

"Ah, Naoko... My boy." Croaked the pale wisp of a once great man, beckoning her forwards with a trembling hand. She stepped forward, didn't dare bring up his mistake. Yes, she was his son... If that was what he wanted, she would be more than willing to be... "How are you?"

"Hello, father." She said, her voice whispery and scarcely there as she took the warm cloth from his damp forehead and soaked it in cold water again, resting it back onto his sweaty skin. She kept her voice deep, stood straight, kept the illusion running. "How are you feeling today?"

"Oh, I'm fine." He managed to protest, his voice dry and scratchy. "Everyone is making such a fuss. I need to finish the Sakamori project, but the maids just won't let me leave bed."

"You're in poor health, father. Please try to get some rest." Advised Naoko softly, straightening out the blankets bunched at the old man's feet. "And the Sakamori project was finished a few weeks ago, you needn't worry."

Her father looked upon her with childlike fascination, as if what she had said was terribly intriguing.

He didn't remember. Naoko's stomach dropped.

"You... finished it a few weeks ago. I've sent it for you." She said, pretending not to be bothered by his fluctuating memory.

He wasn't listening. He had his eyes trained on the window, peering out from under sunken eyes at the marvelous outside world. He missed it, she could tell. He turned back to her and smiled, squeezing her hand with shaking fingers.

"Naoko, my boy... How are you?" He repeated. "I've tried getting out of bed, but the maids just won't let me. I have to finish the Sakamori project..."

Naoko felt dread sink into her very bones as she felt that clammy, withered hand, clasping just as tightly as it could around her own. Her lower lip trembled, but she held strong. She was a man. Men did not cry.

"I'll finish it for you." She said this time, pulling her hand out from under his. As soon as the contact vanished, she felt a freezing in her veins.

Cold... She turned on her heel and paused in the doorway, looking at the sickly man wasting away in the bed with guarded eyes. "Try to get some rest." She said, closing the door behind her.

"Naoko-san."

Naoko blinked and turned suddenly, taken by surprise. It was the next day, after school—where had time gone? There was Hajimete—the younger one, Hanasu—standing there, attempting not to look embarrassed. What was there to be embarrassed about….? Oh, right. Hanasu was at the Host Club yesterday when Naoko's secret was revealed, wasn't she? All of a sudden Naoko was nervous. What was she here to talk about?

"I, um… I just wanted to say sorry," Hanasu mumbled.

Naoko was surprised. "For what?"

"Well, I said some crap about you after you left, and even though my brother was the only one who heard it, I still wanted to say sorry because it wasn't really nice." She hesitated. "And I feel like an idiot."

"Why's that?"

"I was…" she scowled and put a hand on her face, trying to cover up a blush. "…I was attracted to you, okay? And now it turns out that you're not… it's just... ugh!" Her face got redder. "I mean, I can't believe that I was actually looking forward to talking to you again and that stupid little embarrassing comment I made after our conversation—I mean, I thought you were fricking cute! How pathetic is that?"

Naoko wasn't sure what to say. She hadn't expected this. "It's... it's fine, Hanasu-san. I was actually afraid that we wouldn't be able to friends after yesterday. Y'know, I thought it might be awkward."

"Oh, like I'm going to dump someone off because of a stupid little superficial crush that turned out to be totally off!" That wasn't what Naoko was really referring to, but whatever. "I mean, I'll keep requesting you, just so you can take a break from all those girls squalling over everything you do. Just—let's stop talking about it." Hanasu attempted to make her face turn back to its normal color. "According to nissan, the Host Club still really wants you in there. And apparently Fujioka's situation is similar to yours anyway, so they're more or less fine with it."

Naoko blinked. "Oh really? I couldn't tell."

"Yeah, neither could I. Anyway, let's go." Hanasu started walking in the direction of the Host Club, not pausing to see if Naoko was following. She was comforted enough when the other girl's footsteps accompanied her own.

"…you know, maybe you were just a little subconsciously bi-curious," Naoko suggested.

"I'm going to kill you, and then it won't matter if I was fricking bi-curious," Hanasu growled.

Naoko laughed. A death threat had never felt so friendly.


End file.
